I write this for myself but feel free to read along. This is a reminder for now and to have here to come back to again and again. Because these feelings repeat.
I’m discouraged and I don’t feel like writing. What do I have to say that anyone would want to read? But here I am, writing anyway.
I find myself lacking a sense of call or purpose to wake up to today; or a future or dream to give the day some perspective. But another day awaits that needs to be lived out.
This awful, foreboding sense of failure washes over me, a strong sense of having fallen short but not knowing what hand I had in it or how to get back to generally succeeding again except to just live into this new day, do my best and lean into the Lord; And not take myself too seriously.
Today’s to-dos seem more than can be done in a day. Some are in my sweet spots but some will stretch me. Lately, more stretchy ones are in the mix than I prefer but I’m kinder on myself as I get older, more O.K. with good enough being good enough than when I was younger. I’ve learned a thing or two about imagined perfection and excellence and their associated costs. May I invoke that learning when today’s hour is late and some unchecked items remain.
“We must go and take the adventure that comes to us,” said a character in C.S. Lewis’ “The Last Battle,” the seventh of seven books of his Chronicles of Narnia. The remark was offered as our heroes faced a daunting situation. What to do or how to proceed was not at all clear while peril was certain and the odds were heavily stacked against the good guys.
In the case of these stories, the adventure-takers were all believers in and followers of Aslan, the lion Lord of Narnia that Lewis modeled after Jesus Christ. The adventure was viewed as one that Aslan had a hand (or in this case, paw) in allowing or causing to come to them. They knew he expected them to go forward despite their uncertainty.
So must I. You too. To go forward, live today.
As we take on our to-do lists, keep the story God wrote, just for us, at hand. Its guidance and wisdom is strong. Filling its pages are the stories of other’s journeys very much like mine and yours.
Whether you see yourself taking on the grand or the mundane, God levels every task and adventure, somehow rendering the grand mundane and the mundane grand.
Speaking to the sense of call or purpose, Os Guiness wrote,
So here is the new day, brought directly from God, the author and source of all life and every moment of every day. We believers in him enjoy relationship with him through his son Jesus.
Therefore, thanks to his mercy and grace, the burden of my past can be shed so I start this day with a clean slate, wholly forgiven and new.
O.K….(deep breath). Ready now to “go and take the adventure that comes.”
Image source: Just us ... "The Roddens"